February 2012
10 posts
Complaint #505
Anne Spurzem, class of 1984, majored in economics, attended the MacDuffie School for Girls. She attended Duke University after Smith, where she got her MBA in marketing, before moving to Greenwich, Connecticut, the 2006 American city with the highest median income, where I am sure there are no low-income young lesbians of color or international students requiring financial aid who don’t want...
Complaint #504
I shaved my legs for drag ball and still ended up wearing pants.
(guest complaint by riotpurl)
Complaint #503
Doesn’t get serenaded by Noteables on Valentine’s Day. Acts pissy all day long.
(guest complaint by Faizaa)
Complaint #502
Gender studies class on Valentine’s Day.
Complaint #501
Smith College memes: take unoriginal joke about college + Valley location = humor!
Complaint #500
“Speed Friending”
Complaint #499
Lecture of 130. The only name the male professor knows is the single male student in the class.
(guest complaint by well he is easy to distinguish)
Complaint #498
Why don’t they make flannel-lined skinny jeans?
Complaint #497
Introduction to LinkIn: Make a profile.
Complaint #496
So glad I can attend that helpful workshop on “Marketing Your Study Abroad Experience.”
Oh, wait, I can’t, because I’m fucking studying abroad.
January 2012
9 posts
2 tags
Complaint #495
Allowing 25 seniors to live off-campus is actually a radical idea.
Complaint #494
“You go to an all women’s college? What’s that like?”
Complaint #493
Does anyone want to work for Deutsche Bank?
Complaint #492
Never got around to transfer applications this year either.
Complaint #491
I’m having trouble with a computer in the library, but I can’t talk to the reference librarian because she’ll recognize me from OkCupid.
(guest complaint by single ladies)
1 tag
Complaint #490
I talk to the delivery guy from Teapot more than I talk to my mom.
Complaint #489
My dad thought my Diva cup was a tiny plunger.
Complaint #488
J-term class on pool hustling does not allow in-class drinking, despite being held in a bar.
1 tag
Complaint #487
Post grades on Facebook; everyone assume you’re bragging. Don’t post grades on Facebook; everyone assume you got B’s.
December 2011
11 posts
1 tag
Complaint #486
Seemo Shuttle.
Complaint #485
That horrible moment when you realize you’re both waiting for the other person to leave so you can take a crap in peace.
(guest complaint by no name)
Complaint #484
My ex-girlfriend is my best friend.
(guest complaint by the whole campus)
Complaint #483
Smithies actually complaining about airline food in a non-ironic way. “The sandwiches in Zurich are much bigger.” Fuck you.
Complaint #482
Guy in my Amherst class thought I was from Mount Holyoke.
(guest complaint by were you dressed like it?)
Complaint #481
The pesky Honor Code.
Complaint #480
Dr. Jaffe got his prescription privileges back but still won’t write me one for ‘enough Adderall to keep me awake until the 22nd.’
Complaint #479
Why do they call it a ‘free drop’ if I can’t use it a week before finals?
Complaint #478
When a student emails the entire student body, including JYA students, because she lost a pink notebook.
(guest complaint by it had her fanfic in it)
1 tag
Complaint #477
Get transported over Winter Weekend: doesn’t make the police blotter.
Complaint #476
A stranger asked me if I wanted to discuss my feelings in the Periodicals Room. No, no I don’t.
Complaint #475
When an email from the college has incorrect grammar.
November 2011
15 posts
Complaint #474
WHAT IS THE FUNCTION OF AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY? I’m just going to make shit up, and my professor won’t care!
Complaint #473
Now that there are only six people in the house, the weirdos have come out of the woodwork.
Complaint #472
I now have heartburn from eating food that was not prepared in a massive quantity and left out under bright lights for two hours.
Complaint #471
That girl who “spoke on behalf of all the Smithies here” during the Judith Butler lecture.
Complaint #470
My period lasts two weeks: the week I have it, and the next week when my girlfriend does.
Complaint #469
People who love my blog hate me.
Complaint #468
They’re watering the grass- while it’s raining. What.
(guest complaint by sustainability)
Complaint #467
A-/B+.
(guest complaint by make up your mind)
Complaint #466
Yes, it was a beautiful day. No need to rub it in with your frolicking, first years.
Complaint #465
Gold Key member gives a tour of the bathroom while I am trying to take a shit.
(guest complaint by no name)
Complaint #464
Smith’d has become nothing more than a WOZQ ad space.
(guest complaint by no name)
Complaint #463
Professor references something I said earlier. I have no idea what he’s talking about.
(guest complaint by no name)
Complaint #462
Some bitch said my cape is last season.
(guest complaint by no name)
Complaint #461
That girl who complained to me that she wanted to drop Chinese because she was only getting an A minus.
(guest complaint by bell curve)
October 2011
33 posts
Complaint #460
Capitalism collapsed in Western Massachusetts and no one cared.
Complaint #459
I know snow is a reasonable thing to expect in New England but before Halloween? Should’ve gone to Mills.
Complaint #458
If there was ever a time to keep the servers up, ITS, it was probably midterms.
Complaint #457
Feeling genuinely accomplished when the Domino’s website tells me, “Nice order. Track it now.”
(guest complaint by jody the domino’s guy)
2 tags
Complaint #456
The only quotes on professorquotes are from the Moby Dick class.
(guest complaint by supply and demand)